A very helpful illustration by Welden Owen of what aspiring writers can expect. Spoilers: extremely un-fun. One of those high-risk, high-reward situations. As an editor, my feelings fall right into that copyedit bubble in the middle, where all crazy happens.
There’s only one word I wouldn’t use to describe Ranson Riggs‘ Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children: peculiar. And what a shame, because this is a really cool idea for a book.
Don’t get me wrong, the characters are plenty peculiar in the sense that they’re different. But “magical” or “unusual” may be better words for what these children are.
Also, the description tends to be a bit misleading. It comes off as though the protagonist, Jacob, travels oversees to a remote island to find out more about his grandfather’s past and meets “peculiar” children who turn out to be dangerous. Most of this is on point; he does travel to a remote island following the strange (“peculiar” might be a good fit here), tragic and untimely death of his grandfather. Jacob swears up and down that he saw what killed his grandpa Abe—monsters. Unfortunately, the only other person who was there didn’t see a thing and aids everyone else in the belief that Jacob has lost his non-peculiar marbles.
So, after some sleuthing to decipher the meaning behind Abe’s last words (which can also be classified as peculiar), he finds out the name of the island that Abe had told many fantastical stories about while Jacob was growing up. So he heads out with his father to find Abe’s old home, the home for peculiar children.
The characters are fairly well thought out, but none of them seemed especially unique. They were mainly cartoonish incarnations of other sci-fi characters we’ve all likely come across. Especially the villain, which had a mustache-twirling air about him.
The best part of the book was the extremely strange and often creepy vintage photographs that served as illustrations of the characters and some of the plot points.
Lucky for all of us, this book has been greenlit as a movie directed by Tim Burton. I’m really looking forward to doing a movie-based-on-a-book review for this one.
Bitch Rating: 1.5 out of 4 bitches — A little boring, but still a satisfying read.
Title: Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children
Author: Ranson Riggs
Publisher: Quirk Books
Length: 352 pages (hardcover)
Here’s the best advice I can give you when you start reading The Dinner by Herman Koch: Open the cover and then immediately turn to page 100. Because you will be bored for awhile if you start at the beginning.
Here, I’ll help you skip ahead. The first 100 pages are as follows: couple A and couple B meet in a restaurant. Flashbacks ensue, describing how the couples met, how they’re related (brothers!) and how many children they have (couple A: one; couple B: two. One is adopted. This comes into play.)
We learn there’s a secret the husband A has been keeping from wifey A. Or at least thinks he’s keeping.
Boom! The first 100 pages. Done. You’re welcome.
That said, the next 200 pages are pretty fucking good. There are surprises and twists, emotional outbursts and tears when they’re least expected. Koch touches upon a variety of topics: class warfare, racism, politics. And he does so with subtlety and a bit of humor. Well played, Herms.
Look, I don’t want to spoil the rest for you, and going into much more detail would do that, as it’s really a fairly short book. But one that I recommend.
Bitch Rating: 2.5 out of 4 bitches — very engaging with a satisfying conclusion. Cheers!
Title: The Dinner
Author: Herman Koch
Publisher: Crown Publishing Group
Length: 304 pages (hardcover)
Uuuuuhhhhhh…
No.
Just stop, Brandi. Put down the wine. And the computer, because you don’t need to be writing anymore.
I thought Drinking and Tweeting: And Other Brandi Blunders by Brandi Glanville would be a good one for hate reads, and it almost was — it just wasn’t enough of a guilty pleasure to be enjoyable. It was more like a guilty hangover. It gives you a bad headache and won’t end.
I’d advise against this. You’ll get some funny bits about LeAnn Rimes, and that’s about it.
Bitch Rating: .5 out of 4 bitches — sad face emoticon for all the texting bitches out there
Title: Drinking and Tweeting: And Other Brandi Blunders
Author: Brandi Glanville (Should I put her name in quotes? I think Leslie Bruce is billed as the co-author.)
Publisher: Gallery Books
Length: 256 pages (hardcover)
Last weekend was the Los Angeles TimesFestival of Books, in case you missed it. Don’t worry, you didn’t miss too much. I only got to go on Sunday, and though it had a lot of fun things to do (hello—ninja test? What level ninja are you? Yes, please!), I would have liked to have seen more authors and publishers. This was still a good way to spend a beautiful Sunday. Plus, free stuff!
Also, I learned that twice a year, Penguin puts out a compendium of the first chapters of its upcoming books. For free! But you can only get them at book festivals. I’m about to dig in, so I’ll keep you posted.
So a big, thick almost-500-page book about finance and economics sounds boring, yes?
It kind of is, unless you’re into that kind of thing. Fortunately, I am.
You know what sucks? Being in the middle of a fascinating debate about the economic recovery (or lack thereof? You’ll have to keep reading to find out) and realizing you don’t have the goods to back up your case. I hate feeling stupid.
The worst part is, I didn’t have to be caught unprepared. My bad. I headed straight to the bookstore to get some better background on what exactly went wrong with the economy, the financial system, the Lehman Brothers, and all that fun stuff.
And you know what? It’s REALLY FUCKING COMPLICATED. Do you know what a credit-default swap is? Yes? Well, congratulations, you don’t need to read this book. For the rest of you, start reading After the Music Stopped: the Financial Crisis, the Response, and the Work Ahead by Alan S. Blinder. And keep your computer handy because, unless you have a minor in economics, you’ll be looking up more than a few words.
Don’t worry, it’s not impossible to understand. Actually, Blinder does an excellent job of detailing exactly what went wrong with the economy, what led up to it and what the fallout means for our future. And considering the topic, he does an even better job of making it interesting. But let me be clear: You really need to be interested in this topic if you’re going to enjoy this book. Otherwise, put it down, save your money.
Bitch Rating: 2.5 out of 4 bitches — well done!
Title: After the Music Stopped: The Financial Crisis, the Response, and the Work Ahead
Author: Alan S. Blinder
Publisher: The Penguin Press
Length: 476 pages (hardcover)
There is a fairly standard test for evaluating whether or not someone is a psychopath. And not a “this guy almost sideswiped my car in rush hour traffic, what a psycho” kind of test, but a scientific evaluation: the Hare Test. Jon Ronson explores this in “The Psychopath Test: A Journey Through the Madness Industry.”
The Hare Test gives you a number of personality traits (aggressive narcissism) and actions (case history, aka, socially deviant lifestyle) on which you score the person you’re evaluating. Handy! And entertaining, especially when applied to ex-boyfriends and dick-wad co-workers.
But let’s be serious, when we say “evaluating” about ex-boyfriends workplace non-friends, we mean “judging.”
Now we have to pause for a moment. I wanted to jump in on the most interesting part of the book right away, the psychopath test. But I’ll rewind to the beginning of the book, where Ronson is summoned to solve an extremely intricate, far-reaching puzzle. It’s a riddle, crafted by an anonymous prankster, that was sent to people around the world. But not just any people; the riddle was sent to professors, psychologists, authors, etc., all who are respected in their fields. So, Ronson is drawn into this puzzle, and in his hunt for the source, it leads him to a mental hospital where he meets a patient with a unique problem.
In an effort to avoid jail time, this patient pled insanity, thinking he would land in a cushy mental ward where the patients play games and argue over the remote all day. Not so much. Instead, he ended up in one of the most notorious mental institutions in the world sleeping next to the scary kind of insane patients and wishing he’d thought his plan through a bit more. He tried to come clean, but it didn’t work. The sane man was diagnosed as insane and spent 12 years trying to get out of the institution. For perspective, had he served jail time, he would have only spent 4-5 years behind bars.
Being the intrepid journalist, Ronson researched both sides of the case. As it turns out, yes, the psychologists at the institution knew he was faking the insanity plea. His true diagnosis (or untrue, we’re never really told who’s right) is psychopathy. This is where the book gets interesting as Ronson dives into the field of psychology. This takes him all over the place, from inside Scientology to a meeting with a CEO who enjoyed, just a bit too much, firing people. Somewhere along his winding path, he meets Bob Hare, creator of the the Hare Test. Interesting conversations ensue.
Ronson ends up on a few different paths in his book, all of which are interesting, but not vital. Unfortunately, the variety of topics pulls focus from his most interesting subject: psychopaths. To Ronson’s credit, he left me wanting to know more about psychopathy and the tangled web of ethics in psychology. The problem is that he should have let this be the overall theme of the book. Instead, we get lost on a search for the creator of the riddle.
Oh yeah, the riddle! We forget about that for awhile, and that’s not a bad thing. Though he wraps it up nicely in the end (no spoilers ahead, you can keep reading), I would willing trade the mystery of the riddle for more tales of insanity — or non-insanity? Surprisingly, that’s the strength of the book. Ronson makes it clear that we just don’t know who’s right and who’s crazy.
Let’s jump back to the guilty-pleasure subject of evaluating the psyche of exes. To give you an idea of how useful this test is in finally figuring out why your ex was Such A Fucking Asshole, I have lovingly evaluated the worst of my pretty bad ex-boyfriends. Let’s call him “Richard.”
To accurately evaluate a proposed psychopath, for each item listed below (keep in mind, this isn’t the full test), you assign a score of 0-2. A psychopath will usually fall in the 30-40 points range. So, Richard:
In the end, I scored Richard a 28.
But here’s the problem with the psychopath test, which Ronson relies on heavily to highlight a major problem with the field of psychology: the whole thing is subjective. There was a scientific basis in creating the test, but in executing it, you rely on a process that is marred with human error.
Try as I might, of course I’m going to score Richard as borderline psychopath. Hello, he’s still my ex-boyfriend, there is no objectivity in that. But I’ll happily admit, there is a sense of closure that comes with feeling that all of his obscene behavior wasn’t a result of my actions alone.
Bitch Rating: 3 out of 4 bitches — excellent!
Title: The Psychopath Test: A Journey Through the Madness Industry
Author: Jon Ronson
Publisher: Riverhead Trade
Length: 288 pages (paperback)
Gilt, Rue La La, ideeli, HauteLook — we’ve all been there. What else have we all been? Completely excited and anxious, anticipating our latest purchase, an amazing deal we found online and just couldn’t resist. Seven for All Mankind jeans for $40 … yes, please! Then our pretty package arrives and we rip through the tape and bubble wrap only to find something we did not want. I mean, yes, it’s exactly what we ordered, but maybe the fabric is shiny or stretchy, the wrong color, the wrong fit, on and on. So many pitfalls, so little money for re-stocking fees. But fear not: You can learn from my mistakes. So, how do you make sure you’re making quality clothing purchases online?
1. Make Google Images your best friend.
Those pictures of super skinny models can’t always be relied on to give you an accurate picture of how clothes will fit, and the same goes for the lighting. Once you’ve narrowed your shopping choices, double check them by running the name through a search engine to see what pops up. Sometimes it can make or break a purchase. I was on the fence about a fairly expensive Rachel Zoe skirt, and I was tipped toward “add to cart” when I saw how the print and its neon/neutral color combo popped. Gorgeous!
2. Don’t look at the original price.
It’s so tantalizing. You think, “Wowzers … I could buy this $300 shirt for only $39! Thanks, Gilt, my new bestie!” Stop right there. Yes, that shirt was once worth $300, but that doesn’t mean you should buy it. Concentrate on the sale price. If you walked into a store and saw that shirt, not on sale, for $39, would you still be as interested? That heavily marked down price makes quite the intoxicating shopping cocktail. Don’t fall for it! Unless you would be willing to put down the money without knowing the markdown, then keep away from “add to cart.”
3. Measure carefully.
Like really, really carefully. But first, look at the size chart for the specific brand you’re shopping. Each designer and each designer size will fit differently from another. So though you may be a size 27 (god willing) in 7 For All Mankind, it might be a tight fit in your AGs. Next, get out a piece of string and wrap it around your wait, chest, bust, etc. Then take the string and measure the length you just wrapped around your body. Now you have a true size to compare to the chart.
4. Or find it in the store, then buy online.
We shop online deals, not necessarily for speed, but for the low, low prices on designers. If you take your measurements and still aren’t sure the clothes will fit, then head to Macy’s. Or Bloomingdale’s or anywhere that carries the same brand you’re stalking and try on similar clothes in similar cuts. You’ll get a sense of what will fit and what won’t, what will look fabulous and what will be all wrong. This works especially well with shoes.
5. Buy from familiar brands.
I love Seven jeans. I know exactly what size I am in three different cuts (because I’m a different size in each), but I know that what I buy online will be well worth the money spent. So when I need jeans, I specifically look online for Seven sales with deep discounts. The same goes for Robert Rodriguez, Jay Godfrey and L.A.M.B.
Add your own online shopping suggestions in the comments below. More importantly, let me know of any online-deal clothing websites that I might be missing out on.
“Vogue is a very beautiful magazine, an institution, and I learned so much working there … You can’t put yourself into competition with a magazine like Vogue; you have to create something new, something different. The page has been turned … It’s time to find something new, something fresh — for me and for the readers.”
Check out the mock-up of what we can expect for the magazine to look like, but it’s not the actual magazine, set to premiere in September 2012 at 288 pages. Of those, 100 are reserved for the cream of the fashion advertising crop: Chanel, Giorgio Armani, Cartier, Louis Vuitton and, of course, Gucci.
More recently, it was announced that the magazine is padding the masthead with industry heavyweights: Former Teen Vogue Accessories Director Shiona Turini confirmed to NYMag.com that she has joined Michaela Dosamantes on the market team for fashion and accessories. Turini started her new job May 10.
It’s like she can do no wrong.
wild pieces 