Up until about, mmm, sayyy, four years ago, I had huge boobs. Like, HUGE. But it’s not like I was enjoying some super hot Sophia Vergara-like existence. Life was not about looking curvacious and cute in sexy clothes. No—my back and shoulders were constantly in pain at the end of each day, when I would have to lie down and give my body a rest from the extra weight I was carrying around on my chest.
Ever since they cropped up at the age of 13, my boobs were a constant hazard. It was awkward being so young with such an adult physique. There was a lot of staring and teasing in school, and I didn’t know how to handle this “development” much better than anyone else knew how to ignore it. What made it even more of a challenge was being required to wear a uniform everyday that included button-down shirts, and as ladies with big boobs will tell you—button-downs are impossible. You have to buy them big enough to not bust open, and at that point you look like you’re wearing a garbage bag. SO FREAKING FUN, let me tell you.
Anyway, clothing was a constant challenge. Most shopping trips ended in tears because I just wanted to look cute and dainty like my friends, but it just wasn’t going to happen. There weren’t a ton of options then besides just buying bigger (too big) clothes. Finally, in 2009, after talking about it for years, I had a breast reduction and went from about an F cup (by this time, my boobs had continued to grow since high school and college, when I had been a DD) to a modest C cup. After some weight loss, I’m now a B cup and couldn’t be happier—it’s the best thing I’ve ever done.
But, this post is for those big-breasted women whose pain I felt. I wish I’d had a resource when I was in high school on the best chest tamers. For those who are lucky enough to be able deal with this problem with today’s technology, below are some links to help with everything from clothes to bras to bathing suits (and, of course, the Sophia Vergara collection).