In 1998, a chain-smoking, fiscally irresponsible technophobe named Carrie Bradshaw tip-toed her way into our lives, teetering on Manolo Blahniks and wearing a newsprint dress.

And we loved her! And Sex and the City. We still do, and with good reason. Though she spent a bucketload on clothes (envy!), she was always perfectly coiffed (except for the newsprint number. I am so, so against that outfit and wish it had not reappeared in the movie. It was a bad call, Patricia Field). Her amazingly rent-controlled UES apartment and weekly writing gig somehow kept her clad in designers. She didn’t have and didn’t want a cell phone, and today, probably would have trouble with the idea of Twitter and Facebook. And internet dating.

It also took us a few seasons to question her smoking habit, which now wouldn’t even be brought up during development.

The only aspect of 1998 Carrie Bradshaw that I see surviving the last 14 years is her style (except for, again, the newsprint dress. And maybe that questionable barn number she wore to the Hamptons and met Berger in.) And that was the point. But let’s say that the idea for SATC didn’t come up until yesterday, and it was exact same idea. Would we love her so much? Yes, we do know what current-day Carrie would be like, as any die-hard fan has sat through both movies. And I like to think that the SJP we see at awards shows and in the first rows of fashion week is, in part, a result of Carrie’s style. But that’s not the Carrie we fell in love with. Though, we did see 1998 Carrie resurface when current Carrie prickled at the thought of a TV in the bedroom.

So, my point is: Would 1998 Carrie even happen today? Let’s discuss.

She’s a technophobe: Carrie’s answer to online shopping: “No, no, shopping is my cardio.” And that was when online shopping was just becoming a thing; Facebook wasn’t even a fired neuron in Zuckerberg’s brain at that point.

She writes for print: Not anymore. Today, she’d have an online column and write it daily, not weekly. No, sorry, hourly. She’d be writing all day, every day. And it would be a blog on the paper’s website, not a full-blown column.

She lives in a crazy awesome UES brownstone on 72nd: Even writing daily, and even though her bedroom didn’t have a wall or a door, she would never, never afford that place on a blogger’s “salary.”

She smokes: Of course that wouldn’t be such an integral aspect of her character’s personality these days. But like most girls I know, she would probably be a social smoker. You know, the girls that have a random flavor of Camel’s at the bottoms of their purses, magically coming out outside the bar after a few martinis. Think about it. Because you’re probably one of them.

She drops stupid amounts of money on shoes: Though we all love this idea, in today’s economy, we would feel shame just looking at a pair of Louboutins through the window, much less 20. Though the episode when she realized she had spent on shoes what most couples spend on the down payment for a starter home was pretty on target, it didn’t stop her. Most of us would consider that a wake up call. If only.

So really, if 1998 Carrie popped onto our TV screens today, we’d probably stop watching after the first episode. Insert sexual innuendo/pun here.